How to Stop Being Intimidated By Someone Else
Some people are not even aware that they are being intimidated, because they are used to an asymmetrical relationship, while for others suffering intimidation on a regular basis can make their life a constant misery. You might even be the one who is intimidating others, without realizing it!
People who are constantly intimidated go through many negative feelings. In order to be able to deal successfully with intimidation you first have to understand what intimidation really is, because it can come in many disguises.
- Using force to get what you want from others
- Threatening to or using power and control to get others to do what you want
- Getting others to believe they are less powerful than you
- Threatening others with your size or strength to get others to do what you want
- Holding punishments over their head, such as being fired, spanking or divorce
- Being quick tempered, angry or getting into a rage with someone to get them to do what you want
- Behaving in a manner that has others frightened to step up to you
- Using your wealth to get others to do what you want
- Using racial or sexual slurs to diminish others
You soon realize that managing your relationships by intimidation is a kind of emotional abuse of others that leaves your inner circle attached to you by fear, not by love….Is this what you want?
Probably this is the way you learned when growing up, but now it is not the best way to relate…at least you now know that it has a heavy price to pay. Your loved ones will complain that you emotionally abused them, and will be unable to see your good intentions, too much covered by the perceived abusive control.
What if you find yourself being the one who is being intimidated by others? This is also a learned behaviour that you need to challenge in yourself. Why would you want to live your life being intimidated by others? Because your self-esteem is very low, and you have been trained to be acquiesce to others with more power, control or dominance.
There are many steps you can take to stop allowing others to intimidate you. The first step you should take is to get a good look at yourself and determine what is there in your irrational, unhealthy way of thinking has allowed yourself to become intimidated by others. Did your parents tell you that authorities were always right and needed to be respected? Was it your inner fear of confrontation? Or fear of starting a conflict if that was needed to defend your rights?
If you think this might have been the case then you should take steps towards:
- Identify new healthier ways of thinking to help you overcome and respond to the intimidating factors
- Display your new ways of thinking and acting to those who are intimidating you, this will show them that you are no longer willing to be intimidated by them
- Develop ways of dealing with people in case they respond negatively to the new you
- See the consequences of your new assertive behavior
- Stick to your guns and accept whatever the consequences are of your new behavior
The next step to take once you have developed a strategy for dealing with those who intimidate you is to develop ways to reinforce your beliefs in the new, more positive and strong self-image. The easiest way is to use daily affirmations or positive self-talk.
Examples of positive self-talk include:
I am a good person, who is worthy and deserves to be treat with respect.
I will not put anyone in a superhuman position over me.
I will take my life back under my control from any who tries to intimidate me in the future.
I will not allow others to intimidate me.
There is no one out there who can intimidate me.
It pays to put some effort in building up your resistance to intimidation, because it will make your life easier and conflict-free.